Change
I'm not very good with change. I enjoy my routine. Life is a series of moments string together by days of relative routine. I like it that way. This weekend we not only celebrated the ending of one year and the beginning of the next, my family also celebrated the ending of one stage of life and the beginning of the next.
For those faithful followers, you already know that in 6 days my eldest will be leaving for basic training and with that knowledge you know that my son's life is beginning a new stage. He will begin to write his own future. But his life is not the only one that is beginning a new stage, mine is also.
When I had children I knew that part of my responsibility was to raise them to become a type of person who would benefit the world around them. Part of the raising included letting them go out into the world. I knew that. I embrace my son's journey. What I didn't realize was the impact that his impending absence would have on me.
My son and I are very close. He has a special place in my life. It may sound odd because you don't have 19 1/2 years of life story to understand it all but my son is my biggest supporter (my father was but he passed away 4 years ago). In our odd family dynamic it has always been my son who went with me on runs, encouraged me to push myself, enter races, and work harder...
Odd. Maybe this post should have started out entitled...Odd. But as much as I encouraged him, he encouraged me. Maybe because I was rather young when I had him, maybe just because he is a special young man, whatever the reason; I feel as though both of our lives are changing. While I am excited for the changes my son is going to encounter, I am apprehensive about the ones facing me.
I pray that in this latest role as a parent of a child, who has left home, I can be whatever it is my son needs me to be and nothing that he does not. So there will be no sad faces, no tears (that he sees), there will be encouragement and love. Just as he has shown me in our years together. I am more proud of who my little squirt (sorry, son!) has turned out to be than I ever would have dreamed all those years ago.
This step is only the first page in the book he is writing of his future.
Each day will bring him more and more change...there it is again, change. Maybe change is more about progression. Now that's something I can understand as a runner. The slow clicking away of miles in a long race. Progression, hum. The progression of life and our roles in it. Perhaps this progression is what takes a mother and son and makes them both friends.
Now that is change...progression, I will like.
Think of my son as he starts this new journey.
The family at the going away celebration.
The kiddos
My oldest wearing my Daddy's dog tags with Grammy
sharing a moment with Daddy's picture.
We know he would have been so proud.
On the running front and more about my son: Tonight this great eldest son entertained his younger brother while mom endured the squeaky treadmill for 11 miles! My eldest son is just the best!
His little brother loves him too.
Tomorrow I may brave the cold cold cold weather we have been having and run outside.
I miss the fresh air but I'm not sure I want my nose to freeze shut.
Speaking of progression, you really need to progress on over to my post You Might Remember to get the details on how to entry the great giveaway sponsored by One More Mile! The winner gets to pick...yes, the winner gets their pick of one item from the entire website! Does it get any better than that?! No!
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What a wonderful tribute to your son! You should save, print and send it to him :)
ReplyDeleteIt's gotta be tough to have children leaving home and having everything change. But, he sounds like a wonderful young man and I wish him all the best as he heads out into the world to start his military career.
ReplyDeleteThat was so sweet, I wish your son the best of luck in the military and I hope your transition without him at home is as painless as possible.
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful to have a son is so encouraging and supportive of you...wishing him all the best in his new upcoming journey!
ReplyDeleteYou have a beautiful way with words - I hope you keep this post close to you when he leaves, it is an awesome tribute. It isn't odd the relationship you have, every one is different, that is what makes the world so interesting.
ReplyDeleteI will be holding you, your son, and your whole family close to my heart and prayers this week as your prepare for this new chapter and New Year. (((huggss)))
eeek...I'm tearing up at work!! Sounds like you did a great job raising your son. So sweet you have a close bond with him.
ReplyDeleteAwwwwww you have me all choked up over here! Best of wishes to your son and your family! It will be a hard, trying road ahead but know that before he ever became America's hero he was yours! enjoy these last few days with him and be proud of the man he has become!
ReplyDeleteSniff....what you wrote about your relationship is so beautiful. Can't begin to imagine how hard it was to say good bye to him. I wish you all the best of everything as you embrace this latest fork in the road. Your family pic is gorgeous!
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks for the giveaway link! :)
I, too, just blogged about not liking change but your change is way more life-altering than mine and I just was being whiney. ha. You have such a special bond with your son, I just know you are going through some really tough times with him going away. You are very strong and are going to do so well so that you can be there for him when he needs you...and they always need!!
ReplyDeleteYou have a VERY beautiful family!!!
it must be very difficult watching him go and move on with his live. but clearly you've done a great job, mom. be proud. :-)
ReplyDeleteShelly - Sounds like you have done a great job raising a wonderful young man. My guess is that he is just as proud of you - as you are of him. Be proud - be very proud.
ReplyDeleteI will keep all of you in my prayers.
Our daughter went away to college a couple of years ago. It's hard. You're fortunate to have such a close relationship with your son. What a great young man he is!
ReplyDelete