Daily Chatter

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Two Sweaters

With all the down sizing of personal possesions that has taken over bloggy world I feel a little quilty about this but I purchased a sweater, in fact 2 sweaters.

This one...

and one just like it in purple.

Why did I buy two you ask?
You might think it is because I couldn't decide between the snazzy black argyle and the sophitcated purple argyle, you'd be wrong.
I couldn't decide on the size.
I figured if I took a small and a medium in a color I like than the one that fit I would already have and just return the other.
Smart, huh?
Not really when you understand that the reason I questioned the size is that I just can not accept that I would fit into the small.  That I should be wearing that size for it to fit me.
Even S'ghetti girl told me that I should get the small
Why is it that my 9 year old can see me clearly and I still struggle with "vision" problems? 
This issue may be why I own 3 Running Skirts that fall off me after a half mile. 

It's not so much about whether I am X size or Z size, it's about my perception of MY size. 
This is something I have struggled with my entire life.  When I look back at photographs I wonder why I wasn't happier with my level of fitness at a given time because I see that I was in great shape X number of years ago when seeing myself in the photo.

I don't think I am alone in this problem.at.all.

I know that it is a day-to-day issue at times.
Why tell you this in my-world-is-mostly-rosey-place? 
To let those who struggle with feeling the same way know that they are not alone, they are not crazy, they are able to find help and understanding when and if they need it.

15 comments:

  1. Oh cute sweater. Bet it looks great in purple too. Don't know which size you're wearing, but you look great.

    Yes, I think alot of us struggle with sizes. I went jean shopping with my SIL before and every time I'd come out she'd shove me back in with a smaller size. I always have the fear that it might fit now but "what if I gain weight". Even though I've pretty much maintained my current weight for a year and a half, the fear is always there.

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  2. So are you taking the medium back? At least to exchange it for a small?

    I totally have that problem too. It's hard to change the way you see yourself.

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  3. Oh Shelly this is me as well. Still cannot believe I wear small. I rationalize that smalls now run big.

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  4. Yup, that's me too. Whenever I complain about X body part that I think is too big my husband just rolls his eyes. I know that I'm small (I was shocked how skinny my legs looked in a picture awhile back), but damned if I can't get my "14y.o.-I'm-so-huge-mentality" out of my head!

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  5. i think everyone gets body hangups that no one else can see. while i don't think it's amazing that we can be critical i think it makes us normal? maybe?

    but very cute sweater! i need to buy more sweaters for my wardrobe

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  6. great post.

    truly.

    Sign me up for the "I'm with you" program. Does it have a fan club shirt?!

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  7. Love the sweater! Super cute. And I totally "get" it... I don't remember when I last bought mediums... but when I did my closet cleaning, I went through every item... and if it said Large or 12, I got rid of it... forever... no more hanging onto it thinking it fits, when actually it sags!

    (I told H Love this the other day when she had a very very similar post... but if I ever wear a small, I would leave the tag hanging out the back so everyone could see.) ;-)

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  8. I could have written that myself. My weight has fluctuated (A LOT) over the years and whether I am bigger or smaller at any given time, I have never had a good perception of myself. I see a pictures and find that they don't look like the same person in the mirror, or vice versa. I am terrible at shopping for clothes and have a bad habit of buying too big or too small... it's a learning process.

    Thanks for opening up! And the sweater looks great!

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  9. I totally struggled with this when I originally lost all my weight. And even today I often over estimate my true size - I still always order a M in race shirts! LOL!
    Good luck, BTW, I think you're perfect ;)

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  10. Umm, its an hourly struggle for me sometimes. I have always felt unsatisfied with my appearance. Even now, I'm at my lowest weight since high school (10-12 lbs less than my pre-preg weight, even), I still struggle. I still feel "fat and bloated" whenever I eat anything remotely greasy. Its a big, fat mental game. You don't even want to know about my eating habits and the things that go through my mind whenever I eat anything remotely "junky". They're bad.

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  11. i have a few pieces of clothing that are the same but in different sizes. to me its all about how i feel each day. sometimes the small is good, but others the small is too small.

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  12. You'll laugh, but I used to live in size L and XL (and I'm only 5'3" and generally size 6 fits me) because I thought of myself as a big person. Every time I buy a small that fits me, I wonder what "small" people wear. Yeah, I get you on the distorted image thing.

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  13. I am feeling energized by so many people purging clothes and things--I need to! Sizing is SO off these days, but what is it about our brain that won't let us really SEE our size. TRY this: Take a piece of yarn and lay it on the floor in a circle of HOW big you think you are around your hips, then take a second yarn piece and put it around your hips / butt and cut it, lay it in a circle next to your PERCEPTION. It's an interesting exercise!

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  14. You're definitely not alone. I look in the mirror and see a big girl but when I see photos of myself I know that the 'mirror me' is an illusion
    (or delusion)

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  15. I totally have that sweater in purple argyle!! I love it!

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