The winds of change

Last night as I stood holding my littlest niece, chatting with my sister; a storm rolled in and with it came a strong wind.

Being the middle sister I often felt like I was always trying to prove myself.  To what ends, I'm not sure.  I was the helper sister.  Still I enjoy being helpful to my sisters.  As the years have gone by life has provided fewer opportunities to be helpful.  As they each got older and got married, my sisters would turn to their husbands for help that I had once offered.  So last night it was wonderful to be helpful, even if only in a small way. 

I was a welcomed adult voice in my sister's baby-filled day.  I was a rest for her tired arms while I held her newest bundle.  My kids were a distraction for her 4 year old to give her the tiniest of breaks.

While we talked, I held her dozing little one and performed that hard-wired side-to-side rock, the storm grew outside.  She talked of, what else, that dozing little one.  Even though she longed for a reprieve in the baby focused days, as all mommies do her conversation was filled with highlights of those precious moments of the day. 

The wind grew louder and for a moment I thought of my run.  Even as I held that beautiful little creature, I thought for a moment of my need to run.  And then we kept talking.

As the storm finally broke and the rain began to fall I gathered my kids and headed home.  No homework done, no supper eaten, no run completed.  And unlike how I believe I would have usually felt, I was happy.  And that for me is a big change.

Soon my life will be filled with change.  Soon it will be even harder for me to be that helper to my sisters.  Soon my mother won't be just done the road.  Soon normal will be redefined.

Soon our address will be the next thing to change...

EQ in VA

LBM holding on for dear life!

Okay we didn't feel it quite that much but we definitely felt the earth quake that hit Virginia today.  Odd timing for such a big quake to happen nearly centered under where; after 8 years of stalling, our family may finally all reside together.  The lack of natural disasters is a big selling point of the wonderful area I call home. 

It just reminded me that we never quite know what the day will hold for us.  I often get caught up in my daily routine and miss out on the moments that life provides me.  But lately with so many big decisions being made, I have been noticing just how every day is really special.

Yesterday when I got home after work I was eager to jump on the treadmill while the kids played.  I have a couple days of double digit runs to put in and I really just wanted them done.  Since the little kids are so accustomed to my running they quickly went about their way playing.  But yesterday they decided to go through the boxes of "old" toys that are stored in my workout room.  They played as if I wasn't even there.  I turned down my headphones and eavesdropped on their imaginary conversations with each other via their dolls.

yes, LBM was playing with a barbie doll too

Their conversations flowed as if scripted, filled with kindness and fun.  Each one seeming to want to encourage the other to continue to play and keep their imaginary world going. 

I thought about how that was exactly what I had been doing for the past 8 years; keeping my imaginary world going.  An imaginary world where everything is safe and predictable as long as nothing changes. 

A world where I don't NEED anyone else.  But just like today's unexpected earth quake, sometimes a little shake up is exactly what we need to achieve the proper perspective.

Day # 471

-- Sent from my Palm Pre

Three Things Thursday ~ Changes Edition

You remember when I changed out of my worn out kinda grey-ish no longer comfy ultra stinky Sauconys into my fabulous sea green bright white ultra light weight super comfy Sauconys, right?  I am convinced that retiring my worn out kinda grey-ish no longer comfy ultra stinky Sauconys was exactly what my form needed.  Since the switch my feet, ankles and thigh have been talking much much less.  And thanks (maybe) to some sweet Tommy Cooper gear review coming soon  I think my aches will soon be a thing of the past!


This is my last week of summer vacation.  S'ghetti girl goes back to school on Tuesday.  I know I complained about how I'd work out our routine when school ended in May but now I wonder how I managed with early morning buses and homework to fit in on top of everything else!  This week was to be a practice for the change in our routine.  Epic fail!  So far we have gone to bed late, eaten supper late, got up late, gotten home late...
I am hoping it's just nerves and we will pull it all together come that first 5th grade morning. 
It could get interesting.

Like many of you, I have a big girl job.  It is my place to be successful on my own outside of the roles I play in everyone else's lives.  But lately, I really don't want to be there.  I know it benefits my family to have my income but I keep thinking about all the things I am missing with the little kids and remembering having so much more time when my oldest was little.  I didn't really have more time.  In fact I worked much more back then.  Somehow I just squeezed more into those hours or so it seems. 
My husband would like nothing better than for us all to finally move and that would mean me quitting my job and being a SAHM.  So those of you who make it work with only one income, how do you do it?  How do you keep your own identity outside of your roles as mom and wife?  Do you feel you have given up anything with only one income?  I really would love your input because today, I really want to move! 
Today, I don't really like my Big Girl job very much.

There's Nothing to Say

This morning I had planned a much different post but in light of some local news I have decided to change my focus today. 

I apologize for the serious sad nature of this post with some many still celebrating racing success from this past weekend however, I awoke this morning to news that a family friend a 21 year old girl had taken her life.

This young lady had been very close with my oldest son.  She was a bright cheery beautiful faith filled young woman when they spent time together.  Since my son returned home from the Army they had talked and spent time together again.  I was glad to see that they were able to continue their friendship after leaving high school and all it's pettiness behind them.  My son didn't say that there was anything out of the ordinary going on with her or that she had shared anything troubling.

As I go about my day today as I am forced to do, I keep thinking about the things my own children tell me without saying anything...and the times I may not listen closely enough.

Please remember that your children only know life to the depth and length they've lived it.  When they say things are so important to them don't dismiss it as childish or unimportant.  To them, to their experience whatever they are feeling is the greatest strongest thing they have ever known. 

Often I'm sure there are no signs of trouble, no tell-tale change in behavior to miss but sometimes there is nothing to say just time to be shared listening when other seemingly important matters need to wait.  I would never have thought this would happen to this young lady and that reminds me that I have a house full of children that I can't imagine it would happen to either.

Starting today I will be saying a lot less and listening a lot more.

If you are inclined please pray for this Bedford family as they attempt to deal with this tragedy.

EDITED to add:  Another local fatality.  The husband of a high school classmate and friend was killed when he lost control of his Cannondale bike and was struck by a vehicle.  The driver and passenger of the vehicle were not injured.   
Living in a rural close knit area this news hits especially hard.  Your prayers and thoughts are appreciated.

Continuing the topic...

Tonia at Racing with babes had a great post today about fitness and health being a choice.  You should read it.  She often inspires me to change the way I look at things.

But it got me thinking and as I left a comment I really got to wondering.  This is what I said,...

It is a choice. You said it well but I wonder what we can do as examples (well we try, don't we?) to create that moment we those around us feel compelled to change the way they are living? Because that is what we are talking about here. Changing the way people choose to live. Taking away reaching for the potato chips and replacing that habit with going for a walk. Taking your kids on a packed picnic lunch instead of through the drive through.

We all know these are the 'right' choses but how can we create the catalyst to help others make what is a difficult change?

 

 

Do you ever feel responsible to help those in your life make changes to improve their health or fitness?  I know we feel that responsiblity to our children to provide them with the tools and example that will put them on a path to a healthier lifestyle, but the burden I am talking about is the people you see along you way each day.  Do you ever wonder if you should or could be doing something that would radically help that co-worker who you see slipping out for a smoke break as you lace up your shoes at lunch time.  Or the woman 3 rows in front of you at church who keeps tugging at her skirt because it has gotten a bit too snug.  Have you ever wished you could simply say the right thing and help them see that with a little effort each day they could live their lives more fully? 

 

I do.

 

What are some ways you try and influence, educate, motivate, inspire, bribe, coerce those around you to make positive changes in their lives?

 

Two reasons I want to influence "others"...because "others" influence them!