Capture Moments

 

As the years pass my memories have gotten hazy. I don't admit this proudly in fact I carry a bit of shame in acknowledging it. Because I know that those memories that I visit often have not gotten lost inside the twisted paths of my mind. Those frequented memories are crisp and clear.  Like this day.

 

I can still smell the leaves and hear them crunch under my feet.  I can see hear my Daddy's voice as I hand him my then little baby daughter.  I can even recall the smell of his cologne.  I remember how Biking Sherpa was not in the best of moods that day and how all the grandkids were much too energetic for a family photo shot.  All these memories bring a smile to my face today.  For you it is just September 25th. 

 

For me today is 8 years since I heard my Daddy speak. It was the last day I had the chance to see him or hold his hand.  I didn't know then how precious that was.  My Daddy was not a super hero.  He wasn't perfect, I'm sure.  But he was the kind of dad, the kind of person that is rare to come across.  I hit the jackpot and had him as my dad.  He taught me lessons that I am still learning today.  But he also left behind my mother.  A woman who stood beside him day in and day out.  I all too often forget that while my Daddy isn't here to turn to, she is.  She is full of all those things that my Daddy was.  While I will allow tears today as I think of things that I wish my Daddy was here to share in, it will only be for today.  There are so many people in my life that share those same memories and those who I need to teach those memories to. 

 

My Daddy helped make us all strong and family-focused, maybe that was part of why he was given to us.  To help us be better prepared to continue on when he had to leave us.  Today I will do everything I can to show him that he did a great job.  And this Saturday when I am climbing that mountain in Pennsylvania, when my legs are screaming that I just can't go any farther, that is when I will reach down into that Smith strength that Daddy took me to store up and I will find a way to keep going.  I will make him proud because I know he will be with me.

Everyone Eats a Little Dirt aka A County Fair

One week a year we press the

We stay up late.  We eat bad food.  We get dirty.  We get rained on. 

We give our time to our great rural home town tradition.

I volunteer with the Senior Arts division so that means lots of this

and this.

But it also means some of these

And some of these

And nightly turns at this

But a couple of days spent doing this.

and this

and this.

Every year we have some of this

We even had a little of this

And a dose of that

We had our turn at lots of this.

Then no fair would be complete without S'ghetti Girl's annual photo of this

It was a week of a lot of fun, togetherness and running.

and even a bit of the actual running kind.

Moving Sunshine

Family fun in the woods

Daylight saving time.  Many wonder why it is still observed.  The state of Indiana seems to be permanently trapped in a debate over what time it is.  With the impending repayment of all those sun-filled moments due this past Saturday night my family made certain that we filled the 1639 minutes that made up our weekend with all the family fun we could.

S'ghetti girl was on the look out for quartz rocks.

Saturday didn't dawn quite as warm as we had hoped so our plans to climb Old Rag were derailed in favor of a closer to home adventure.  We headed to Preddy Creek Park.  This park has a nice little trail system which is very kid friendly.  I was able to get in some trail miles and then meet up with the family as the explored the area.  It was a great way to get the whole family outside.

Back at the house there were a few chores waiting for us but with everyone helping out the work went quickly and no one complained.  The super secret spy had gotten a half dozen magnolia trees that needed planted.  It was a nice start to the small forest I want to create.

Although we had to give back that hour of moments this weekend we didn't feel short changed at all.  It doesn't have to be about how much time you spend together.  It should be about how you fill those moments that really counts. 

And a rich indulgent brownie at the end of a great day doesn't hurt either.

I give you permission

Recently I had the opportunity to be part of a study aimed at finding out why women do Ultras and the challenges them face. 
 I have Barefoot Angie Bee to thank for being able to take part in the study. 

The interview lasted about an hour.  I was asked a bit about myself and how I got into running.  To be honest I felt a bit like who was I to be giving my two cents until the interviewer asked me how many ultras I have done in the past two years and I said about 10.  When she responded with "Wow!" I realized I was doing it again.  I was doing what many people do.  I was down playing what I have accomplished because I keep comparing it to what others have done. 

Our conversation continued and I hope that what I was able to offer through my experiences will help in some way.  But as many conversations hindsight is always slightly more clear.  Her final question was,

If I could say something to encourage a woman who was contemplating running her first ultra, what would I say?
Although I had talked about this challenge earlier in my interview, I wish I had answered that final question more simply with this:
I give you permission.

Why would I need to given anyone other than my own children permission to do anything?  Well, I shouldn't but that's often the problem.  Many women feel that they don't have permission to use the time in their days for themselves.  Women feel that family comes first. 

 
People paint it on signs and hang it in their homes.
Not that family is anything other than a top priority but women often forget that we need feed our own needs to be able to meet the needs of those we love.

I no longer feel guilty about taking a few weekends a year to enjoy races and I don't feel guilty about the time I spend running to be prepared for those races.  Having given that small percentage of my day to myself, I know that I am made a better person for everyone in my life.

I gave myself permission.
And in doing so I gave my family a much better version of me.


What finally made you give yourself permission?
What would you say to someone who is just starting out and feeling guilty?
Considering an Ultra?  What do you feel is your biggest hurtle?  How can I help you overcome it?