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What a wonderful fun-filled weekend our family enjoyed! It was an unusually short one with the super secret spy not being off an extra day like we have gotten so used to thank to the holidays but we still packed a lot of family time into the hours we had.

Sporting my new ChiRunning hat.  Part of my HBBC haul!

Thanks Amanda!

I finally got outside and enjoyed the milder weather on a nice run around VA.  Not the 24 miles long run that this week called for but a nice rework of the plan allowed for more family time and still a decent long hilly run.  With safety being brought back to the forefront of my mind and I am certain many other's too, I have been struggling with getting outside for long runs.  That feeling of safety is something I have to work on getting back.  Maybe it's more a need to feel prepared and aware.

After a messing weekend we did have to do some chores like cleaning the floors. Which was made easier with the Shark. Even the kids didn't mind helping especially helping to put the box to good use.

LBM can make everything chore more fun with his antics!

Teamarcia got a little free press with S'ghetti girl's new shirt.

Speaking of shopping, I noticed something troubling while we were shopping. 

Labels.

You might notice that I don't wear a wide variety of clothes.  I wear the same running outfits frequently and even in casual photos I am often sporting the same argyle purple or black sweater.  That is because I don't like to shop.  So I don't do it very often. 

If fact the only pair of blue jeans that I own that fit were purchased about 7 years ago.  They look terrible on me now and were part of the reason I finally gave in and went shopping.

The other reason is that my poor dressing habits have be adopted by my beautiful daughter.

I am not doing her any favors setting such a terrible example.

While I don't want her to be too wrapped up in her appearance, I do want her to care about herself enough to look her best given the situation.

I guess I want her to take pride in looking nice to an appropriate degree. 

It's a fine line, right?!

S'ghetti girl lives in seat pants.  If it is not warm enough to wear skirts she will be wearing one of a few pair of sweats that she owns.  While sweats have their place they shouldn't be the only pants she wears.

Enter the dreaded Blue Jean label.

We went to countless stores and until the next to last store every single label share one word:

s.k.i.n.n.y

First off, my daughter is of an appropriate for her height and age.  She is healthy and beautiful.  While she may not be a active as some children she is by no means over weight.  Yet time and time again she was told that her body was somehow not "right" after she tried on pair after pair after pair of blue jeans. 

Of course, no one said that directly to her but I can remember being that adolescent girl struggling with no longer being a child and not yet being ready to be what come next.  Even though I repeatedly told her that everyone has to go through all these different styles and cuts to find the pants that fit them best, she was still brought to tears in the dressing room after dozens of pairs simply didn't work with her shape.

s.k.i.n.n.y

I h.a.t.e that word.

If you really follow me you know that I never use that word.  The H one.

There is very little worse than seeing your daughter struggle with something that shouldn't even be an issue.  I tried my best to tell her that it's just a pair of pants.  And we did find several that she would agree to wear and honestly they a super cute on her.  I just worry that everything she wears them she will remember the experience and view herself negatively.

I wish I had a magic ball to see if this one experience was going to affect her or if all the praise and love she is given daily will be enough to give her the confidence she should have.  Something, some comment or person or situation caused me to view myself differently than the reflection in the mirror which lead to years of pointless self confidence issues.  Was it the nicknames in grade school?  Was it the "special" jeans  (Rosebud duds.  I was really thin as a young child) that set me apart from the other kids? 

Whatever it was I just don't want there to be an it for my daughter. 

I need her to know the true, that she is smart, kind and important!

How can you over come an entire industry seemingly set on brain washing your kids?

It's a LIFEstyle

Could you say No?

I didn't. 

There was a day when chooses like those lovely iced cinnamin-ie pastries would have caused a disastrous domino effect of thoughts and actions for me.  Happily today I am closer to living the lifestyle I want to have for the rest of my life.  Of course I didn't eat all of those yummy buns, they were for sharing over a hot cup of coffee but I did enjoy some sweets from the newest bakery in town;
The Hot Buns Bakery Company.
This may be a no-no for some of you but my life is about inclusion not exclusion.  I want to experience and enjoy (most) everything.  When it come to my daily eating I would rather eat things closer to nature and farther away from preservatives and cardboard.  I find that allowing everything a place in my diet removes the feeling of giving up.  Because my life is not about giving up.  In my work, in my running, in my marriage, in my parenting, in my eating there is no room for giving up.
I also believe that so much of what we do is directly controlled by how we feel or think about a situation that when we tell ourselves we can't have that sweet or fried or fattening food choice, we end up only wanting it more.  (And who chooses which foods are "fattening."  All foods are fattening if overeaten.) 
Our daily eating is to be enjoyable otherwise we would all be eating a caloric and nutritionally formulated mush and be okay with that.  But we don't.  We want to enjoy our food.  We want to gather around it and share it with friends and family.  Our daily eating is to be nutritionally sounds first and then caloricly, not the other way around.  There are thousands and thousands of over weight people who are grossly undernourished. 
So I say allow it all.  The green, the yellow, the red, the grilled, the poached, the fired, the sour, the sweet, the savory and even the icing covered.  Every once in a while.
Maybe being on the other side of an eating disorder helps me see that moderation IS the best and healthiest way or maybe I use moderation as an excuse to eat those things that are caloricly heavy.  I guess that is for you to decide for yourself at your own dinner table. 
Just remember that there should really be room for everything that enriches your daily life.

So tell me, do you forbid foods...for yourself or your family?
Is food really only fuel for you?
What do you think about the problem of malnutrition in America's obese?

Two Sweaters

With all the down sizing of personal possesions that has taken over bloggy world I feel a little quilty about this but I purchased a sweater, in fact 2 sweaters.

This one...

and one just like it in purple.

Why did I buy two you ask?

You might think it is because I couldn't decide between the snazzy black argyle and the sophitcated purple argyle, you'd be wrong.

I couldn't decide on the size.

I figured if I took a small and a medium in a color I like than the one that fit I would already have and just return the other.

Smart, huh?

Not really when you understand that the reason I questioned the size is that I just can not accept that I would fit into the small.  That I should be wearing that size for it to fit me.
Even S'ghetti girl told me that I should get the small. 
Why is it that my 9 year old can see me clearly and I still struggle with "vision" problems? 
This issue may be why I own 3 Running Skirts that fall off me after a half mile. 

It's not so much about whether I am X size or Z size, it's about my perception of MY size. 
This is something I have struggled with my entire life.  When I look back at photographs I wonder why I wasn't happier with my level of fitness at a given time because I see that I was in great shape X number of years ago when seeing myself in the photo.

I don't think I am alone in this problem.at.all.

I know that it is a day-to-day issue at times.
Why tell you this in my-world-is-mostly-rosey-place? 
To let those who struggle with feeling the same way know that they are not alone, they are not crazy, they are able to find help and understanding when and if they need it.