2014 FOTM Race Report - The Final FOTM

Fire on the Mountain 50k

 

As race day approached I didn't feel the usual combination of pre-race emotions.  This year there was a few new feelings taking up room in my head.  Kevin the RD had made the official announcement that 2014 would be the final FOTM.  Being lucky enough to have run every FOTM, it was sad news that the fifth running would be the last.  While the possibility of the race ending (hiatus, Kevin, remember it's just a hiatus) was a sad note, there was a bright spot in the happenings.  My sister would be running her first ever race.  First ever ultra trail race no less.  I was excited for her and nervous that I may have encouraged her to take a leap that was a bit extreme.  Little did I know that once again my tiny big sister would be setting the example that I would try to follow.

 

 

Packet pickup

 

We headed to Flintstone Maryland to the Green Ridge State Forest Headquarters to pick up our bibs and unfortunately get a refund for our race t-shirts.  The RD lives several states away and is the owner of a new business which left little time for some items on the race day check list.  But I have to say that was the only detail of the race that was disappointing.  I am so grateful that despite all the challenges being so far away and running a business Kevin and his family were still able to put on one of the best trail races I have the privilege to run.  Many thanks to Kevin and his family, all the volunteers, DCNR and the beautiful Green Ridge State Forest for allowing us safe and supported passage on a perfect day.

 

 

As the sun rises

 

There was no sun as I went through the pre-race drill and quietly slipped out of the house and headed to pick up my sis.  Being an early riser she was wide awake and waiting for me to hit the road.  Mostly we drove in silence.  I was lost in my mind, still trying to wake up.  As for my sis I can only imagine the thoughts that were swirling in her mind.  I wanted to do everything I could to help make this first race a successful one for my sis but it was hard to shake the sadness that it would be the last FOTM.  It is silly to get so sentimental about a race but as I made the long winding drive I couldn't help but think of all the past years. 

 

View from the start line

 

 

In no time I had to get back to reality as we pulled into the open field that would welcome us as a finish line after 32 miles through the Green Ridge State Forest.  Sis and I hopped out of the truck to check in, make a quick nature call and then readied our gear in the warmth of the truck.  The minutes ticked down and it was time for us to get on the bus that would take us to the start line.  On the bus we chatted and listened to other runners talking.  Sis and I shared a seat with Janelle who was running her first 50k.

 

 

Sis and I about to hit the Red Trail

 

The ride has always been longer than I'd want with nervous anticipation growing by the minute but soon enough we were at the start line.  One last nature call, a few snapshots, chatted with a few friends and we were ready to get on the move.  The RD gave his usual final instructions; Red Trail, Green Trail, Fire Road, Purple Trail and we were....not off.  Just as the RD was about to send us on our merry way, several runners yell "Car!"  There were two cars making their way to the start line.  Thanks to the winds the night before there had been an alleged tree down that delayed a few runners.  Graciously the RD waited for them to grab their gear as their driver declared she had photos of the down tree.  After a few minutes delay and a few laughs, we were finally set on our way down the fire road for a quick mile before entering the Red Trail. 

 

The perfect day

 

RED TRAIL

 

The Red Trail was just as wonderful as ever.  The day was beautiful, the leaves were abundant and our spirits were high as we moved quickly along the trail.  I love how much I remember the route of this race.  After about 3 miles we turn left to continue on the Red Trail but a few runners had turned right.  With all our trail training miles, we were moving well over the terrain and making great time as we hit a hard left uphill we saw another group of runners who had missed the turn and incorrectly continued straight.  We ran into the first aid station and paused long enough for me to tighten my one shoe then continued down the course.  As usual, the trees in the Green Ridge State Forest beckon me to visit them but happily this year I would only need a few nature calls through my journey.  I enjoyed some technical trail running throughout the remainder of the Red Trail only falling once luckily without paying any blood dues.  We hit the second aid station in high spirits.  I encouraged my sis to eat and drink more than she was doing.  I had some banana, pringles and a little to drink.  Sis sent out a quick text to update the family on our progress.  We were happy with our pace and still feeling strong as we hit the Green Trail.

A pause at the Oasis

 

GREEN TRAIL

 

My history with the Green Trail has been a wet one but this year the course was as dry as I can remember it.  Sis took the lead through this section as we had decided to run together or at least within eye sight.  My main role would be to keep her on course and keep her from going to fast early in the race.  It was a challenge to contain her enthusiasm and even though I was certain she could probably run much faster than we were going, we hadn't tested how long she could hold those paces and I didn't want her to burn out at mile 27.  So we wove our way through the low laying section of Green Trail hopping across the creek only to hop back across the creek. 

 

Sis ready for the climb up to the Oasis 

 

The Green Trail went by quickly as we came out to the water only aid station shortly after passing the open front shed that I recalled being so happy to see in a section with little cover.  Since we knew that volunteers were limited, we had planned to be able to run heavily self-sufficient.  We paused only briefly before heading back down the trail.   

My favorite part; the climbing.

 

Through the Green Trail we passed several runners.  My sis was running strong but quiet.  Every time I'd check in with her, she was "fine" or "good."  It was a different experience to run with someone who is running their first ever race.  I can only imagine what all was going through her mind as she was going farther and farther, getting closer to going farther than she had ever gone before. 

The Oasis view

 

THE OASIS

 

As we hit the Fire Road, the RD's daughter was there taking pictures of everyone.  Another of many great perks of FOTM, awesome free race photos!  In five short years she has gone from a little girl to a beautiful kind young woman.  I'd call getting to see her and her sibling grow another of those FOTM perks.  Another perk is the Oasis aid station.

Sis loved the oranges

 

We climbed the hill to the Oasis aid station dubbed "half way" on the course due to the "easier" second half.  I added water to my hydration pack, drank some coke, ate bananas and chips.  Sis enjoyed the oranges.  Stephanie snapped a few photos of us and we were off again. 

Enough energy to celebrate

 

We hadn't made it too far in fact I knew where we would answer another nature call because I stop at this spot nearly every year.  Thanks to the nature call my tummy settled from the influx of sugar and we were off down the nearly 8 miles of fire road.  There isn't much to say about the fire road we ran a lot, we talked some - although now I can't remember what we talked about.  There were descents and climbs, rocks and more rocks and finally an aid station across the bridge.  We didn't bother really stopping.  I just whined that I'd love some sugar and caffeine. 

The finisher's trophy - worth it!

 

My achilles/heel of my left foot was really bothering me.  I was complaining about little things just to hear myself talk.  Thankfully sis gave me some pain medication and a couple of runners who settled in beside us briefly offered me more...it must have been obvious that I was uncomfortable.  But sis just kept motoring on.  It was awesome to see her dig deep and not complain when I know she was working hard.  We came to the next aid station but no soda to sugar up on so I risked drinking whatever sports drink they had and thanked them for being there before we headed up the next hill.

 

 

5th FOTM - 7:16

 

PURPLE TRAIL

 

Quickly we were approaching the entrance to the purple trail and after directing some fellow trail brethren to the correct direction, we took the lead and enjoyed the softer footing.  In previous years, I had complained about the purple trail.  After my time on the Massanutten trails, I now enjoy the purple trail and felt like we were making some good miles as we worked our way further along the course.

32 miles.  No worse for the wear.

 

As we made our way along the purple trail I remember quite a few places in this final section.  As we passed under power lines sis mentioned how much it reminded her of our hometown pipeline route on the Mid-State Trail.  We passed a particular large tree that has a fondness for me since we shared such intimate moments during one of the early years of this race.  We passed a random spot along the trail where Champ had greeted me during the first FOTM. 

Salty as ever

 

As I relived all those happy memories my sis had grown really quiet.  This was the first time during the race that I thought she might be tiring.  But still she continued ahead.  If I said run, she ran.  If I said hike this hill like you mean it, she hiked.  But there was an unmistakable air of "I just want to be done" about her.  Of course I was eager for that finish line too but as always the longer I go the more comfortable I feel about continuing to put one foot in front of the other. 

How I celebrate my 5th FOTM 50k

 

We came on the last aid station put didn't take any aid since we had our hydration packs.  Only about 4.5 miles to go!  The remaining trail was a nice mix of descents, climbs, easy footing and technical running.  It was a beautiful day.  The conditions could not have been closer to perfect for my sister's first race and honestly, if FOTM has to see an end (Remember Kevin, hiatus.  right?!) what better way for that to happen than this perfect day. 

5th or 1st, it's a sweet success

 

It was a celebration of the ending of one thing but the beginning of others.  Life is like that.  Sometimes things have to end but there is always something new to begin.  As we started what I knew was the final climb I prayed that my sister's daughters had found their way to the finish line.  I knew that nothing was going to stop her from seeing her first ever finish line.  I shouted that we were almost there.  I was happy I was in the lead because I could hardly hold in the tears.  Now tears of happiness that we could share such an amazing journey together.

Our cheering crew

 

And there they were, two beautiful young ladies waiting for their mom.  Cheering and snapping photos as they ran to the clearing that would start our final victory lap to the finish line.  That open field that had held one of my favorite finish lines for the past five years.  I have loved it and hated it but each time I longed to see it knowing it held another piece of this wonderful journey that I am on.  A journey that really has no finish line.  A journey made up of moments like this one.  Moments that matter.  Moments that make me closer to the person I want to be.  There I am running with my sister, my big sister.  The one I spent my life trying to be just like and in this moment I couldn't have been more proud to see her being a little bit more like me.  Minus the complaining.

 



Routes, Partying and YMX

 

I finally broke in the VHTRC shirt.  I ran about 50 miles last week and most of them in my bright blue tech shirt.  Even though I am still feeling a little like a Popsicle trying to acclimate to life on the sidewalk, I have been running outside in the heat everyday.  I'm not sure I can say that my VHTRC shirt did anything exceptional considering it was soaked halfway through every run but it did seem to make cars beep at me more frequently than usual while I was on "the front road." 

 

 

Unlike in PA, when I am in VA I don't know that I have a "favorite" route.  Maybe my 8 something route is fairly enjoyable.  Or when I drive to the trails, that is always enjoyable except for the having to drive to the trails part.  I'm spoiled with my PA ability to run for hours and see 3 cars.  While running in VA this hour long run included easily 50 times that many cars since I ran my "front road" route.  But I did find wild raspberries that helped make the run a little more exciting and I am still in search of a couple front door friendly routes that will become my VA favorites.

 

 

 
 
 

 

Speaking of favorites, S'ghetti Girl turned 12 this month and we were again partying.  This time we were partying with her besties in VA. 

 

The weather cooperated and the kids spent their time swimming and splashing to their hearts content.  Even LBM was welcomed into the battle.  S'ghetti Girl is blessed with a wonderful group of friends both in PA and in VA. 

 

Surprisingly S'ghetti Girl's favorite "gift" was her cake.  She had requested cupcakes, even though the cup cakes from her PA party had gotten smashed she still wanted to try them again.  But after searching everywhere for anything Rise of the Guardians themed and finding nothing, I opted to have a caked printed with a ROTG photo. 

 

 

 

She loved it.  And of course ate Jack Frost's face because that's what tween girls do when they think a guy is cute.  I guess.  I'm still completely okay with her crushing on a fictional character, the alternative frightens me. 

 

I ended my weekend with a longish run in one of my YMX tops that I hadn't gotten to test yet.  It looked great and dried quickly even after it became wring-out-wet thanks to the humidity.  This shirt may actually be too pretty to run in.  When I put it on the super secret spy thought it was too nice to go get all sweaty.  I was concerned that the "lace" neckline would become itchy and bother me during my run but I never noticed it during the run.  With this VA heat this top will definitely be getting it's share of workouts.

 

So Now What?

You wake up and you realize that the high you've been riding on since your A Race is fading.  That eagerness that you greeted each day with isn't quite as bright and when the alarm goes off, rolling over and sleeping in seems like a great idea.  I mean, why not?  Your race calendar is clear for awhile.  Why not?  You trained hard for months.  Why not roll over and relax your body deserves the break, right?  But now it's two weeks later and you wonder why you ever thought all that hard work was so appealing. 

 

Can you identify with that little "after race" scenario?  Most of us can.  It's completely normal to take that break, to let up on the self-inflicted pressure to always push.  But it is a slippery slope into an all day popcorn eating, snuggie wearing all day movie-fest as your ass grows attached to the couch.  So how do you give your body, brain and spirit that much deserved and needed rest while maintaining your momentum towards dreams to come?

 

Here are a few ways I avoided or at least lessened that slide into couch potato-ism.

 

 

 Reconnect with family. 

During all that training I often had to tip the scales to time budgeting towards my training and sacrificed time with family to get those needed hours on the trails.  Post race make it a priority to spend time with your loved ones, sharing your race tales but also letting your family know just how much their support meant to you.

 

 

Play with your kids.

Okay you probably had to squeeze this in during your training too but after your race move that fun kid time up on the priority scale.  Color, blow bubbles, play Barbies, ride bikes, paint or jump on the trampoline because you asked them to do it with you instead of waiting for them to ask you to join them.  It's amazing how great you will feel simply playing.

 

   

 

Visit places you love.

Everything takes time.  We each only have a limited number of hours each day and when we are training that time is limited even further.  Once your race day is over use some of that extra time to see those places that you hurried through before and enjoy looking around.  Take a walk through your neighborhood or hike those trails you were running on.  Breath in all those little things you might have missed on your way to that race day goal.  Make time to go to that restaurant you avoided while training and enjoy a great meal or visit your mom who still lives in your hometown.  Where ever  or whatever those places you love are take the time now to enjoy them.

 

 

 

Get outside.

Simple enough.  Mow the grass, plant a garden, hand wash the car, pull weeds, fly a kite, use your kid's swing set when they are not looking.  Just get outside.

 

 

 

 

Go for a Run.

 

Of course in the days and weeks following you big race you are going to go for a run.  Duh!  But as you work towards moving past your latest challenge give yourself time to remember that there were other reasons why you run, aside from that race that seemed to consume your life.  Remember that you love to run.  Maybe you love being outside.  Maybe you love feeling closer to nature, or God or yourself.  Maybe you love pushing your body and feeling it respond.  Or maybe you just love being able to eat an extra cupcake and not have it show on your waistline.  Whatever that reason get out there and remember it.  Run with no plan other than to enjoy doing it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Make a New Plan

 

Whether your new plan includes more racing, a year full of the joy of running, focusing on your family or furthering your education; moving forward should include a deliberate plan to help keep you working and avoid that tempting snuggie. 

 

For me, I've packed that snuggie away in exchange for a bathsuit since the littles and I will be spending a lot of our time in the pool and I've penciled a new plan to carry me through May 2014.  But for now I'll just stick to running because I love it, eating healthier and keeping the squirt guns loaded.

MMT 100 Race Report - A Mental Mountain

Massanutten Mountain Trails 100

May 18 - 19th, 2013

This story really began more than a year ago when I entered one of the coolest lottery systems to try my luck at getting into one of the toughest 100s on the East Coast, perhaps one of the most challenging in the nation.  Thanks to my unsuccessful bid in 2012 I had priority to get in this year.  As luck would have it I didn't need it thanks to the DOW I got in! 

This is my story as I recall it.  The trail gives and takes many things while you are on it.  It is a balancing act to keep those moments clear as your mind and body are pushed beyond the limits you previously knew.  But these are my memories, my choices, my thoughts and my adventure.  I take responsibility for how I handled myself on that mountain and at the end of the trail, I am proud of all the choices I made.  I have never worked harder, pushed longer or given more to achieve something in my life.  The best part in already knowing the ending is the acceptance, no the declaration that it is not an end but a continuation of a journey I hope to never complete.  I hope to always be pushing towards a mountain top...even if I never make it there.

MMT100 

My Mountain Story

Friday, May 17th

7:00 a.m.

I can't believe that in mere hours I will be leaving my family and starting an adventure that will be the reward for 2 years of work and dedication.  My stomach will not settle down.  My pacer, Diane has filled this week with daily encouragement.  I know I wouldn't be physically as ready without her.  Her quiet trail presence and ease on the Massanutten trails have helped to show me what I need to do.  We plan to meet at Caroline Furnace, the start/finish area, around 2 this afternoon but I am running late.  The music I have spent the week downloading will not go onto my MP3 player and I am panicking.  This music is what I will use to get through those early solo miles in the dark before getting to Camp Roosevelt and meeting Diane to finish the last 40 miles of the race.  But finally I dig out an old laptop and get the music transferred.  Another issue.  My watch is frozen.  I can't set the time of day.  This is the watch I will use to know that I am getting to aid stations ahead of cut offs.  Hubby gives me his but I decide to run to the store and just pick up a new one of my exact model.  The car is loaded.  Last minute kisses given.  2 hours late I am finally leaving.

2:15 p.m.

The briefing is at 4 and Diane has no cell phone so I am getting nervous that I'll miss the brief, get lost, have car trouble...my mind is already trying to psych me out.  I crank the music and try to get lost in the drive.

3:40 p.m.

Yeah!  I made it and got a great parking spot near the bunks and shower.  I try to text my family but there is not service.  Crap!  There are a few people milling around and they direct me to the start/finish area through the woods, down a hill and across a stream.  Diane and the crew are all there.  It is a relief to see everyone but I am probably not hiding my nervousness very well.  I get checked in and but my club tee shirt.  Diane and I walk back over to the camp area and gather my 9 drop bags and lug them back to the drop boxes.

4:15 p.m.

The brief runs late as does the caterers.  The RD, Kevin Sayers does his best to share all the needed information in a light hearted way.  I'm glued to his every word worrying that something important in what he is saying will make the difference and without it I'll be lost in the forest forever. 

5:00 p.m.

We enjoy a yummy dinner of pasta, salad, garlic bread and desserts.  Diane and I mingle with loads of trail friends.  Rande, Kari, Ed, Gary, Larry W, Larry H, Mark, Carter, Matt, Brenda, Caroline, Alan, Kim....actually there isn't anyway to list them all.  Talking with everyone seems to make me even more nervous. 

7:30 p..m.

We head back over to the camp area.  I head off to my bunk and Diane and her hubby are camping.  Lisa, Chris, Kim and several other ladies are all in my bunkhouse.  We sit on the porch and get a lesson in foot taping from Kim and talk about the day to come.

9:00 p.m.

Lights out.

May 18th
2:ish a.m.

I didn't sleep much.  Too many restless ladies.  Too many thoughts in my mind.  Too much nervousness.

3:30 a.m.

This is it.  I feel like I could throw up.  The entire weight of the mountain seems to be resting on my shoulders.  I'm sure I'm going to throw up.  I walk to the start with my very heavy pack.  I forget all about taking pictures.  But I do get this one of the start finish line.

4:00 - 7:03 a.m.

Caroline Furnace to Edinburg Gap  12.1 miles

MMT starts in an open field and then to a brief paved road section then onto gravel roads for a few miles before entering the trails.  My goal is to make sure I stayed behind a few friends who are very experienced trail runners on the MMT course.  I run by myself, I ran with several other runner but mostly I run this section with a trail friend, Charlie. I don't usually start off wanting or needing to talk but it helps to calm my nerves to listen to someone else.  With a goal to arrive at Edinsburg Gap by 7:15 I am happy with this section but disappointed that I run all of it feeling like I could not stop.  No nature call, no tightening my loose shoes, no stopping.  These choices might effect my run later on.  At Edinsburg Gap aid station I top off my pack, get my fuel bag out of my drop bag, drink some water and ginger ale then grab a quarter of a pbj and head out.  I am so afraid to stop moving.  It's still cool out but the day is brightening, the birds are singing and I feel happy to be out there.  I am running in my HAT Run tee, YMX skirt, compression socks and Saucony trail shoes.  So far the biggest issue is with my shoes but I am afraid to stop and tighten them.  There is a hot spot already developing on my left foot and starting to heat up on my right.  

 9:24 a.m.

Edinburg Gap to Woodstock Tower  8.2 miles

I realized I had to stop along this section to take care of two things; a nature call and tightening my shoes.  My shoes immediately felt like a new pair of shoes and my feet feel revived.  The nature call only shows me that I am way behind on fluids and even though it is still early in the morning I am sweating more than I am replacing.   I run alone.  I fall in with others.  Already my mind is not taking in anything except how I must keep moving forward.  Stopping to take pictures or enjoy the view is not on the agenda.  My hopes of finding signal to send tweets from the trail are forgotten.  I pause and  snap a photo to send to the family, praying it will go out before I turn off the phone.  For the briefest of moments I am lost inside my head thinking about what I need to do when I hit this aid station and whap!  I catch my right big toe and can not run out of it.  I try to roll but the rocks aimed for my falling body hit before I can adjust.  My left knee lands square on the edge of a sharp rock, I hit multiple points on rock on my right knee, both forearms and the side of my head thanks to my failed aerobatics.  I take a minute to let my head settle and than thank God I was alone.  Even in this moment I have the very human thought of, "At least no one else saw that."

10:55

Woodstock to Powells Fort 5.6 miles

I am feeling good and hitting my arrival times at aid station within minutes of my goals even with the time spent in stations.  I do pause briefly to attempt to send out a text to my family and a quick shot of the trail in front of me.  But I know that I have to keep moving and the slightest pause give tiny issues a louder voice so I move trying to stay focused on positive things. 

13:06

Powells Fort to Elizabeth Furnace 7.5 miles

I can't wait to get to EF.  My fresh shoes are there and my feet are ready to feel revived.  Another longer section that allows for a little roller coaster of feelings.  I spend miles feeling so proud of how strong I feel, enveloped in all the beauty of this mountain I am amazed how lucky I am, I think about my family and friends and how they all are pulling for me even more than I realized, I am thankful for my friends who eagerly volunteered to stay with the kids and bring them to the finish line when the super secret spy had to attend classes this weekend.  These high moments by far are outweighing the eventual low ones but they too come.  The low moments allow my mind to focus on the issues; tired feet, chafing on my left arm and the increasing pain in my left knee on every downhill swirl through my mind even as I get to the aid station.  I change out of my wet clothes and into a fresh shirt, shorts and shoes.  I'm rushing too much trying to get glide reapplied, pack topped and eat something.  I realized the difference a crew can make and why runners who do this solo deserve their own division.

14:46

Elizabeth Furnace to Shawl Gap 4.7 miles

Honestly all I really remember is moving forward.  Near Shawl Gap I send another text letting family know I'm nearing 40 miles and still close to my times and that I had a low point but was rallying.  A running friend, Cherry was at Shawl Gap.  She has the best smile.  It dimmed a little when she saw me.  I may have looked bad.  At this point I am really behind on fuel and although I can move forward and am still running the flats and downs, I'm sure my body posture and attitude are things I can't spare the energy for.  Cherry is so helpful.  She does get me to eat a cheese and bean quesadilla.  Yuck is what I think but I eat it any way.  I keep moving.  

15:45

Shawl Gap to Veach Gap 3.1 miles

   

At this point I am fairly often alone although John and Mark occasionally provide me with company.  I am looking forward to the climb after Veach Gap and not liking the road section.  John catches me on the road.  At the aid station I again rush through too fast.  Diane is just passed the aid station set up taking photos.  It's great to see her.  She is enjoying her day of volunteering.  She tells me I am just behind our friend Mark and I hurry along. 

18:52

Veach Gap to Indian Grave Trailhead 9.0 miles

I am enjoying the climb up Veach.   Diane and I had practiced this section solo just weeks ago and I loved how much of this course felt at least vaguely familiar.  I know that next year I will have hiking poles.  I frequently pick up thick branches to help keep me from bending over to much on long climbs.  I am loving the early part of this section.  It's beautiful.  I enjoy remembering my training run with Diane through this section.  I want to pause to take my usual photos of flowers but even the orchids I have seen off and on through the course are not enough to get my to pause.  I'm still afraid to stop for anything.  This is a long section and I go through a high at the beginning and a low as I unknowingly near the aid station.  I'm sick of feeling like I don't remember the course. I run some of this section with John who has been considering dropping since he dislocated his pinkie early in the race.  I am headed south mentally.  I pray that I can turn it around.  At long last, I pop out of the trail and there is the aid station.  I should have recognized I was having issues when I don't even know where I was. 

20:00

Indian Grave Trailhead to Habron Gap 3.9 miles

I leave Indian Grave after a brief pause and with no solid recollection that I ate anything.  My fuel bags remain mostly untouched, my pack remains heavy and I am concerned about the lack of nature calls after this long in the race.  Praying distracts my mind through this road section.  I am alone for a long time with no runners in either direction.  I actually double back thinking I've missed a turn into the trail.  What I don't remember is this entire 3.9 miles is on a gravel road. 

My mood is heavy so finally I decide to stop.  I just stop in the middle of the road.  I take off my pack and look around.  I take care of a much overdue nature call which makes me feel better and shows me that I really must drink more.  I snap a picture to try and text out to the family that I am at about 50 miles into this adventure.  I read a few text that had bounced in from earlier in the day.  This is clearly much more mental than I realized.  Not needing to watch every step, I walk toward the Habron aid station.  I will pull this together.  My spirits are uplifted.  I check in with how my body is really feeling.  My left hamstring which is historically the big issue has not spoken once.  I'm amazed that I hadn't realized just how good I am feeling.  My hamstrings, quads, calves, back, arms are all feeling solid.  No fatigue or soreness in them.  My feet are tired and have a few hot spots growing.  My knees ache which is unusual especially my left knee which is hurting more sharply on every decline.  I feel like I have listed more pros than cons and this has lifted my mood. 

During my walking self-pep talk John catches up with me.  We chat and run the remainder of the road together.  At the aid station I am about an hour behind the time I wanted to arrive.  But I know that my "schedule" had not factored in time at aid stations (another of many lessons I've learned make a big deal in super long distances).  John tells me to not hang around.  I sit in a chair while I go through my drop bag.  I am not taking anything but my light.  I am still not eating much of anything along the trail even though I know I need to.  Again I don't know what if anything I eat but I gather my drop bag, put it in the box for return and I leave the aid station alone.  Mark and John remain in their chairs to contemplate whether they push for the next aid station.

00:06

Habron Gap to Camp Roosevelt 9.8 miles

I tuck my headlamp into my pack.  I get out my music only to realize that my play list didn't sync correctly.  With the light fading quickly as I climb I set my mp3 player on shuffle all and enjoy the mild distraction of Christmas songs, veggie tales, Larry the Cable Guy, ancient country songs and ABC practice.  During the next 4 hours I wouldn't hear a single one of the songs I actually wanted to hear while climbing this section.  But it laughed my way up Habron.  I found two near perfectly sized sticks to use an country hiking poles and I was actually enjoying being out in the woods solo as the light left the sky.  I pulled on the headlamp only when the last of the light faded.  It was amazing!  This was what I had waited for.  I love being in the woods at night.  The climb was made so much more manageable in the darkness. 

As I made great time near the top I came upon another runner.  It was Ed.  Saturday was Ed's birthday and as I near him sitting on a rock I was going to simply tease him that he was taking it easy since it was his birthday but what happened next changed my race day.  This was my choice and more a reflection on myself as a person and not a runner.  Ed told me that he had been getting very sick and was feeling fragile and he might backtrack to Habron and drop.  He stood up but didn't seem very solid on his feet.   But Ed thought maybe he could get his ninth life.  I told him we would finish the climb together.  We plodded along.  I tried to talk as much as I could just to see how Ed was doing.  At the top Ed sat to try and eat something.  I killed time with a nature call and tried to eat a Gu since the long plodding was sapping my physical and mental energy.  Now everything that had been a tiny issue in my body seemed to have multiplied.  Ed was violently ill multiple times as we sat there.  I couldn't leave him now.  Now I was worried.  How far to the aid station?  How far had we come?  Could I get him to sit while I tried to run into the aid station for help?  What if he fell while wobbling around on the rocks if I left him.  Throughout the race I often neared panic thinking I was the last runner.  As if that would matter if I finish as the last runner?!  But now it seemed to matter.  Now my mind was spinning out of control, tumbling negative thoughts.  Who was I to do this if even Ed, a trail veteran and MMT veteran was having so much trouble.  All logical thought seemed to evaporate.  I told Ed I wasn't leaving him.  He told me he'd be fine.  But I said no that we would walk this in together.  I tried to lead but Ed fell too far behind.  Ed lead.  We plodded.  My mind spun.  Every slight decline or twist on a rock would snap through my knee in a now unimaginable level of pain.  I stopped drinking completely.  My stomach was now to attached to the pain in my knee.  And now the bottom of me feet hurt beyond words.  Great now I realize I have a giant blister on my left foot!  All the things that I had pushed out of my mind were now able to begin to over whelm me.

I scream inside my head that I needed to stop it but my mind was a run away train now.

Mark and John had not dropped at Habron and had caught up to us.  We all plodded together until Mark suggested that he and I head on while John and Ed would remain together.  Off Mark and I headed.  Mark tried to get me to move but I was so busy inside my head trying to stop the negative chatter, trying to tell myself that the pain was temporary and not the unbearable crucifixion that I had worked it up to be.  I cried.  I swore.  I cried again. Gary Knipling passed us with a quick hello.  But even seeing Gary who was dealing with his own challenges couldn't pull me out of my spiral.   Mark tired.  I know he did.  He got me to that aid station with cutoff time to spare but I sat down.  I just needed to get myself under control.  Everyone was dropping.  I couldn't get that out of my mind.  And somehow it started to seem ok.  Ok to entertain the idea of letting myself down. 

I went through the motions of changing my top.  Diane filled my pack, gave me soup, coffee, everything from my drop bag.  We talked about my issues.  My aid station workers all told me to get off my butt.  I was still panicking.  I opened two of my letters from my drop bag, one was from my sister and the other from my hubby.  I cried.  Those words were what I needed.  I told Diane that we were going, I stood up and then I passed out.

I didn't really understand what was happening.  It just suddenly all went black and I was suddenly sweating and shivering.  I knew people were touching me and talking to me but I think all I kept saying was, what's happening?  Time got really messed up at that point.  I thought I was sitting with my head down and then I was laying down on a cot.  People were telling me things but I'm not sure what they were saying.  One thing I know for sure is that I was crying and I realized that this, 64 miles was going to be the end of my attempt to go 100.

Today as I try to put these thoughts together I know it isn't the end but merely a continuation.  This thing that I have wanted for 2 years, a thing that frightened me for wanting it.  This 100 mile, no it's not about 100 miles it is about Massanutten.  I don't simply want to go 100 miles.  I want to complete Massanutten.  I will complete Massanutten.  I know how to train my body and now I understand just how hard I need to train my mind.

"A visitor is expected to return."

Post script:  My 2013 MMT journey was a huge success.  Maybe not a success by the definition some would apply to it however I strengthened friendships, gained knowledge, enjoyed the mountain, cheered for hours and humbled myself more in two days than many do in years.  I need to thank hundreds of people who gave of their time, talent and energy to allow me and 195 others the privilege to do all those things.  Thank you to the VHTRC, Kevin Sayers, Diane B., my family and friends, Mark, John, Charlie, Rande & Kari, Bob, Kim, Cherry, Carter, Matt, Bobby, countless aid station volunteers and the VDCR.

MMT100 One More Sleep

That's it.  A single one mile run and now all I have is to drive to the start, bunk till 4 a.m. and then run 100+ mountainous mile. 

 

I'll start my day in this...

 

 

Spend the warmer hours in this...

 

And God willing, cross the finish line in this.

 

 

It's gone from this to...

 

This and now off I go.

 

 

 

My goal put simply is to finish but I think I nailed it when a runner friend asks some advice as he approaches his first 50 miler.

 



Shelly Cable Steve Modica First you'd want to see this site ( http://www.vhtrc.org/mmt/ ) for the MMT 100. Every 100 is different so the training for each and the race day are a widely different experience. For MMT I did as much training on the race course as possible to get used to the very technical terrain. My plan is what most any ultra runner's plan is on race day, to run every thing I can as efficiently as I can and hike like I mean it when I have to. There will be section that are too rocky, too steep or in the middle of the night too dark to be safely (for me) run so I will be making that judgment call as I progress over the course. The biggest factor in my finishing will be correct pacing and proper fueling. I won't "win" this race by a long stretch but if I can cross that finish line within the cutoff and have loved more moment than I have struggled; then I will have won!