Daily Chatter

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Ignore it

Every time I read a post I feel inspired, encouraged, educated, uplifted.  I often feel some how more powerful by simply knowing this amazing group of people.  The courage that is shared whether your journey is to your first 5k or your about to embark on a Ironman has become contagious!  I thank you all for putting your adventures out there and allowing me to share in them.

But I have to admit that I am scared shit less about getting into Massanutten (MMT 100).  I know I have felt this kind of self doubt before.  I felt completely freaked out before my first 50k and then of course before each of the 50 milers I felt the doubt creep in.  But I chose to ignore it.  It would be great to be a well of confidence just bubbling up but the reality is I forget sometimes that I really can't do anything. 
That is not a typo.
I can't.  I can't run 100 miles.  I can't run marathons.  I can't.
That is if I try to do it myself.

I was so nicely reminded that I don't have to be sure that I can, what matters is I know that He can.
yes it is going to be one of those posts
Granted when I started running many years ago, I didn't consciously do it to get closer with God.  But that is what happened.  I found that as my miles piled up and my mind grew quiet, I was praying.  Suddenly I had found time to devote to a conversation that I had not really been holding up my end of before.
The work, the training, the time will be mine but I know that in the end this is something I feel drawn to do.  The blessing I have been given requires me to share it. 

This spirit of determination will help carry me through those things I am worrying about.  The rocks, snakes, cliffs, hills and hills and hills, the loneliness, the fatigue, the darkness, the unknown will all be here but I won't be alone.  I know that even with faith I may still not complete this next challenge.  I may be unable or unwilling to pull that strength up from inside myself and I might not finish or hit my goals but I do know that when I make it into the Massanutten Mountain Trails 100 it will be because I did have doubt. 
I just didn't listen to it.

What are you allowing doubt to steal from you?
Need a few words of encouragement, send me an email for a uplifting heart-to-heart.

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful post and it reminds me of the greatest thing a woman said to me last week. I was picking up my daughter from school and carrying her to the car silly style and commented how I would love to be carried this way. The woman looked at us and smiled and then told me, you are. I instantly knew what she meant (but perhaps because it is a Catholic preschool). God is carrying me when I need it and He is there for you too!